A bit quiet on the blogging front recently - not because I didn't want to, in all honesty it's because I've had nothing to talk about and I didn't want to write lots of posts with essentially the same content. That would just be a little bit boring for everybody involved.
The thing no one told me about going through chemo is how utterly bored I would get. Some days, the only person I speak to all day is my husband. Thank goodness I have Alfie (the dog) otherwise I'd probably be half way to LaLa Land by now. Most of my friends work the normal 9 - 5 (cue Dolly Parton now singing in my head) and Helen the BFF who works shifts and actually could spend time with me mid-week, lives all the way in London.
I really should have used my time off a little more productively and studied for some professional exams - but rather unsurprisingly my motivation is at an all time low. Instead, I've watched the entire back catalogue of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (UK and USA), as well as all his cooking videos. I also started watching Hell's Kitchen - but the bitchiness and fighting got a bit tedious, although I did manage two entire seasons of that as well. I'm currently working my way through the myriad of beauty tutorials on YouTube.
More worryingly, I seem to have memorised E4's daytime schedule and know exactly when my favourite programmes are on and when to tune in...I think that signals I am well and truly a part of the daytime TV army! At least I haven't resorted to Jeremy Kyle yet...at least not on a regular basis.
Another problem with all this spare time on my hands is all the thinking and ruminating I seem to do. I feel like chemo has drastically changed my appearance, perhaps I'm worrying too much about it because I have nothing else to do. I wouldn't describe myself as vain, but I liked to look after myself and admittedly, I always feel much more confident when I'm well dressed and make up done. Pre-cancer me ate well and went to the gym 3 - 4 times per week as well as walking the dog everyday. Since my operation in December, I have basically eaten nothing but junk food and done nothing but sit on my bum,which has widened considerably. Thanks to modern anti-emetics (anti-sickness medication), I still manage to eat even during the first few days after chemo when I'm feeling the sickest. My sense of taste and the sensation of my tongue is greatly altered in that I can't really taste anything and my tongue is pretty much numb, so all I crave is sugary and salty foods, which definitely doesn't help the waistline!
I've put on roughly 7kg since my operation and I'm now the heaviest I've ever been and I'm quite uncomfortable with that. None of my clothes fit and I don't have the funds to buy new clothes!
Well, onwards and upwards I suppose, cycle 9 is due this week; fingers crossed my bloods are all in order so it goes ahead as planned!!
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